How parents can help — without 'helping'

We see this all the time. A child gets a topic for Flash Talks. The parent takes over: writes the speech, edits it, makes the kid memorize it. Event day, the child stands up and recites someone else's words — and you can see in their face: this isn't mine.

Resist the urge. Even when the speech 'isn't good enough.' Even when you know you could write a better version. Especially then.

What helps:

• Ask, don't tell. 'What do you love about that topic?' Listen. Their first answer is often the speech.

• Practice in their words, not yours. If they say 'um' a lot, that's fine. We're not preparing them for a TED talk.

• Praise effort, not output. 'I love that you tried' lasts longer than 'great speech.'

• Don't film practice. It adds pressure. We'll capture the actual moment.

• Be early but invisible. Drop them off, sit at the back, let them do their thing.

Your kid doesn't need a co-author. They need a quiet cheerleader. That's the most powerful role you can play.